Psychological issues

* I am very worried that I will not give a birth to my child. I'll try to so everything so he did not know about it. It is so difficult to realize that the child wasn’t in your womb. How to survive this problem?

Only you are the mother of your child! You have a genetic relationship with him. In addition, remember a famous wisdom: "Not is the one parent who has given birth, but the one who has raised the child." After birth, everything will fall into place. It's your biological child who you have been waiting for. You will be happy to take care of everything – issues and troubles, any difficulties. So everything will be fine. Please, contact our psychologist, and he will be able to help you.

* My wife and I are expecting a child after IVF program. More than 5 years I have been treated for infertility. Honestly, I'm not sure it's my baby. Maybe it's from the donor, and they just do not tell me that? Maybe I have a paranoia developing on this basis? What to do?

Dear Anatoly, it's really complicated and serious problem. You immediately need to visit a psychologist. In addition, you can obtain the DNA test results. Such tests may be ordered along with the programs of surrogate motherhood. On this occasion, you can also contact the Agency. In the meantime, you just need to calm down. You also will have a child who you have been waiting for.

* Reasons to refer to Surrogacy

There’s is unable to give a birth to a child for many reasons. Heart problems, diabetes and even severe high blood pressure affect female’s fertility, preventing many women from the ability to conceice a child. In this case surrogacy (either gestational or genetic) may solve a problem. But is it not a secret for a lot of people that sometimes commissioning couple does not wish to submit to the entire period of pregnancy and labour of delivery, and surrogates are being commissioned. There is also not a lot of documentation that contains the information of estimate tproportion of each of these reasons.

* Why do couples use surrogacy when they could just adopt?

There are many reasons why couples turn to surrogacy instead of just adopting a child. It happens that sometimes, even after the long period of bonding with the child during the pregnancy of another woman, a birth mother decides to keep a baby. Another may have not even known that the surrogacy exists, but after finding out they wanted to add to their family. Some people have already adopted a child and then turn to surrogacy.

Reliability. Adoption is tough and there are many issues behind the process. If adoption failed, it is very heart wrenching for a couple to endure. Some couples may try two or three times and get hurt every single time and, as a result, refuse to go through the process anymore.

Law. And it is not an easy process in terms of legislation. In Canada, for example, to adopt a child became more difficult, than it was few years ago. There are a lot of government programs that help women with unplanned or unwanted pregnancies. To be at least qualified for adoption couple has to go through a tough and lengthy process of application, background checks, references and home studies.

Price. Adoption is not a cheap process, and, moreover, the wait times are often 5-10 years.

There is also the issue of children available for adoption It is not rare that children available for adoption can have physical and/or mental handicaps or serious medical problems because a lot of them are coming from malnutrition, abuse, neglect etc.

Most couples are afraid now of open adoptions because it’s hard to bond with child and then lose custody if the birth parents change their minds.

* Why would a woman want to carry a baby for someone else, only to give it away?

Most surrogate mothers call themselves a “9 month babysitter”, because they that conceived the child through IVF treatment. It is not that they do give away a child, but they perceive this process of childbearing as help for other couples to fell and experience a joy and happiness of being parents.

Most of surrogacy mothers have their own children and genuinely want to provide the most important gift for couples and individuals with infertility diagnosis or for those who just dream of a family and can’t have it for certain reasons.

Women that become surrogate mothers are all the ways special, and they give the best times a life for someone else to be happy!

* Choosing a sex of a baby

Patients often ask whether you can select the sex of the baby?

Technically this is possible. Moreover, this problem can be solved simultaneously with another one - identification and discarding of embryos with the most common chromosomal abnormalities.

Sometimes the choice of sex is necessary for patients who carry genetic diseases associated with sex. In other cases, prenatal sex selection for couples that have less than two children of the same sex is considered as interference in the natural population.

It is possible that a couple undergoes preimplantation genetic diagnosis because of having a sick child in the family already. Along with the diagnosis of chromosomal embryo abnormalities the sex determination was performed and then there were two embryos transferred - male and female. There was a pregnancy that turned into having quadruplets, because both embryos were divided into two.